Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Internal Struggle of the Dark Hero - Repentence versus Self Loathing

I've finally made serious progress on developing the overall plot for DA Shadow Phantom! I've been so excited since last night I've been almost giddy. It's that kind of excitement that has made me jump to writing a future scene that won't even come up in the story fro quite a long time, but I must write it for fear of losing the insight. Anyway, more on that a bit later.

Recently, I've been listening to a song by Linkin Park called "What I've Done." This has given me a ton of inspiration as far as the main plot in DA Shadow phantom goes. Dalan spends a good portion of the story struggling with himself, with the monster he thinks he's become. The hardest task for him isn't using his abilities to help protect the weak, it's in forgiving himself for his own wrongs and for the times when he failed to protect people. The song really inspired me in this part of the story, as it's about repentance versus self-loathing.

Linkin Park, "What I've Done," from Minutes to Midnight
a poster by ~ngrubor@deviantart.com

The lyrics that stand out to me the most, especially in terms of Dalan's character are the ones in this verse near the end of the song:

For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends

I'm forgiving what I've done

It then kicks off into the chorus.


The chorus finishes:

I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Dalan's choices are to die in attempted atonement for his shortcomings and the wrongs he's done, of which, later in the story, there are a lot, especially when the creature inside him gets out of control. His other choice, the harder one to make, is to live for the people he is trying to protect, and actually be able to let go of the past so that he can help to create a new future. He needs to forgive himself, as well as those people who have betrayed him, whom he thought where close.

The question boils down to whether or not the hero can find balance within himself before he crosses the line that turns him into a tragic hero, or even a villain.

From the Black Cat anime, Train Heartnet

Train Heartnet as an assassin

An anime I recently watched that has a similar theme I am currently wrestling with for my characters is Black Cat. Black Cat is the code name for a deadly assassin also known as XIII (13), the bringer of bad luck. He is called the "pet cat" of the organization Chronos, one of their top assassins sent to eliminate corrupt people in power. Even though it is an organization that claims to uphold peace for normal people, Black Cat, or Train Heartnet, finds himself trapped in a world where there is always blood on his hands. It is a world in which he feels he has no redemption and no way out.

Once my main character, Dalan, gets fully into the world of fighting the crime in the street of his home city, Athallia, he finds himself in a similar situation. He must fight to protect the innocent people of the city, but can he do that without pronouncing himself judge, jury, and executioner? This is a battle he must face within himself he must face. The question is whether he can truly protect Athallia without getting blood on his hands, or if getting blood on his hands is inevitable. Then the next question is where that fine line is between hero and tragic hero, and hero and villain. Will Dalan have to give up himself and his own sense of honor, justice, and morality in order to protect the people he cares for?

These are questions I am asking myself as I continue in the DA Shadow Phantom series, as I explore the many possible paths the plot can take. Sometimes I find the plot twists exciting. Other times, they are heart-wrenching, even for the writer, since the story come to life can surprise even me.

The journey though art can be the same way. I am currently in the middle of designing a few characters that pop up in the story quite a bit. I am trying to incorporate their personalities right into the designs, which can be fun as well as eluding.
Dalan (right) with his best friend, Matt (left)
Matt has a usually easy-going and mischievous personality, and Dalan often needs to escape from school to deal with the changes happening inside of him, so he ad Matt are a perfect match, even though Matt doesn't know Dalan's secret, why his friend is odd an stand-offish.
Heather (left) an her twin sister (Jinae)
Even though thy are twins, these two could not be more different. Heather is a tomboy and into physical activities such as sports and karate, as well as being a junior lifeguard at a public pol in the summer. Jinae, on the other hand, is into cheerleading, fashion, and flirting with boys. She also as a crush on Dalan, who is friends with her sister. Heather is actually the only other person to find out Dalan's secret for the longest time, as she followed him  few times fleeing school.

Heather, a progress sketch when I first started developing her
Nolin Dyer, another progress sketch
This is a really smart kid, only twelve years old and in high school. Dalan is very protective of him.
 
After I do rough sketches for characters, I then have to redraw them as clean line art. Using Photoshop, this task is easier, since I can work in layers. After I have clean line art, I can then start experimenting with color. Every color I use or that I think I might want to use, I create swatches for so that I can always get that same color again if I ever have to fix anything.

Jost Trevors, a leader of a secret group at Dalan's high school that focuses on helping the citizens of Athallia that the government has tossed aside. This is the preliminary colored version with swatches.

I start out with flat colors, which I will then later add shading and highlighting layers on top of to provide the necessary lighting and shadow contrast. Just fleshing these characters out artistically helps me to do so in the written version, as I can begin seeing them as real people that have their own struggles. Also, as can be seen from above, I get inspiration for characters and themes from other stories, whether they be songs, movies, television shows, or books. Just taking in many kinds of other stories spurs my imagination.

As a storyteller, they make me feel like I am not alone, that there is one big worldwide conversation I am part of. Thus, I like stories. All kinds of stories. Indulge in stories.

Black Cat: Train Heartnet and Eve

Next time you read a book or see a movie, remember that worldwide conversation.
Have fun on your journey!



For more artwork and story-related stuff, or if you just want to get in touch with me and see what I'm up to, visit me at these websites:
Facebook profile: https://www.facebook.com/nicole.hubbard.50

Facebook DA Shadow Phantom: https://www.facebook.com/pages/DA-Shadow-Phantom/125944890946328?notif_t=page_new_likes
Facebook North Country Series: https://www.facebook.com/NorthCountrySeries?fref=ts

Deviant Art profile: http://nykol-haebrd.deviantart.com/
Tumblr profile: http://nyko-shad.tumblr.com/

No comments:

Post a Comment